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Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
10:47 pm

current mood: ecstatic

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Sunday, August 14th, 2005
11:00 pm - If I could I relive those days, I know the one that would never change...
Busy weekend, but it was tons of fun.

Friday I had to drive to Hammond to take care of all my school stuff. I couldn't pay my fee's online because SLU was having problems so I had to stand in a line for 2 hours so they wouldn't drop my classes. So while I was there I figured I might as well get my books and take care of all my parking stuff, so I did. No lines were involved in that process, so I was pretty happy about that. After that I called Andrea and we had lunch. It was nice talking to her as always. Then I went to my grandpa's house and just hung out. He got home and he explained that he and his new "girlfriend" just spend a lot of time together because he is lonely. I completely understand, but it's just so hard for me to see another woman besides my grandma in that house. I don't like it at all, but I will do anything for him because he would do anything for me. So, I just have to suck it up and not be selfish. I want him to be happy.

Saturday morning Mary came into town! We went shopping all weekend like we always do, and we spent way to much money. The first store we went in we spent 50 dollars, and it was all downhill from there. It was a lot of fun, but we were exhausted when we got home. We were going to take a nap and then get ready to go out but Mary's ex called. He was in town and wanted us to meet him and a friend for dinner. Mary wanted to go, so we went. It was extremely awkward, but we got through it and came home. We had every intention to go out, but we were so tired. We ended up in bed by 11.

This morning we got up and we got ready and went shopping some more and then had lunch. Unfortunately I had to go to work, so she left around 3. Work was fun today though. I got to work with Ryan and Zack for a couple of hours and they put me in a really good mood. I always have fun with those guys. We closed in about 17 minutes too, which was really nice. I have been snacking on way too much junk food though lately, so I need to cut that out this week. At least when school starts I will lose about 15 pounds because I will be walking all the time and only eating Subway. Heck, this semester I won't even have time to eat.

Hopefully this week will be a good one. One more week and weekend before school. Summer flew by! Part of me is sad that it is over, but the other part of me is really glad it is over. It's just been a crazy 6 months for me.

current mood: worn out

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Monday, August 1st, 2005
10:42 pm
Wisdom teeth out tomorrow

I am completely terrified

current mood: scared

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Saturday, July 30th, 2005
4:26 pm - We are young!
This morning I woke up early and me and my dad drove out to our camp on False River to jet ski. It was so great becuase I got to spend time with just my dad. We never do that anymore, and I am such a daddy's girl. We just rode for hours, and we raced and stuff. I love him so much, and I really am so blessed to have a dad as wonderful as mine. We had to come back kinda early because my sister is coming back from church camp today. I can't wait to talk to her about it becuase I think she really needed to get away for a while. I know I do, but this morning was just enough to last me for a while.

I am totally exicted about tonight! Andrea, Amanda, and I are getting all dressed up to go out to eat in downtown Baton Rouge. It is going to be so much fun, even though we have o idea what we are going to do after. I think we have some ideas though. It's just going to be fun to get dressed up for no apparent reason. This is just what I need!

current mood: giggly

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Friday, July 29th, 2005
11:43 pm
I am so sick of this

Call me selfish, call me crazy, call me whatever the hell you want to call me. I've probably been called it behind my back sometime in the last 6 months anyway.

*News Flash*
It's not always about you!

current mood: aggravated

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Friday, July 15th, 2005
10:30 pm
so i might have a tiny crush

it's silly, but fun...

current mood: flirty

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Thursday, June 9th, 2005
11:13 pm - Mary is coming!
Thank goodness for my wonderful college roomate who drives 3 hours to come and see me whenever she has a weekend off!

current mood: excited

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Monday, June 6th, 2005
10:49 am - just for fun...
Everyone who reads this...

List 2 the things you like about me.
List 2 things you dislike about me.
Then list any songs that make you think of me.
List a funny time you have had with me.
Describe me in one word.

current mood: sleepy

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Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
10:35 am - Exactly how I feel...
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time

And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me

And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time, then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

current mood: depressed

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Saturday, May 14th, 2005
11:57 pm
Me and Andrea bought tennis rackets tonight. We are tennis stars!!!

current mood: amused

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Saturday, May 7th, 2005
3:02 pm - who this is so true...except for the last one

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

current mood: still missing him

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Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
10:22 pm - i just couldn't make you see that...
... I loved you more than you'll ever know

current mood: lonely

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Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
10:46 am - I've learned...
I've Learned ...
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

I've learned ...
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned ...
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned ...
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned ...
that you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned ...
that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do
but to the best you can do.

I've learned ...
that it's not what happens to people that's important.
It's what they do about it.

I've learned ...
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned ...
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

I've learned ...
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned ...
that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned ...
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned ...
that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned ...
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned ...
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned ...
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned ...
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I've learned ...
that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned ...
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned ...
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned ...
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned ...
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned ...
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned ...
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned ...
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned ...
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be
if they believed it.

I've learned ...
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while,
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned ...
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.

I've learned ...
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned ...
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned ...
that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned ...
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned ...
that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned ...
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I've learned ...
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I've learned ...
that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I've learned ...
that no matter how you try to protect
your children, they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned ...
that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.

I've learned ...
that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

I've learned ...
that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned ...
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I've learned ...
that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I've learned ...
that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.

I've learned ...
that although the word "love" can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.

I've learned ...
that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

current mood: indescribable

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Thursday, March 17th, 2005
9:08 pm - it's gonna hurt bad before it gets better...
Tonight it hit me so hard.

It's like, I go along with everything just fine. but all of a sudden I stop becuase I feel like something is missing.

Then I realize exactly what is missing.

I miss him so much.

current mood: sad

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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
11:56 pm
I WILL marry an australian!

current mood: giggly

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Thursday, March 10th, 2005
11:00 pm - I copied off of you Andrea...
Take the quiz...please Take my Quiz! and then

current mood: blank

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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
7:24 pm
I love my job!

current mood: exhausted

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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
11:10 pm
one day at a time...

current mood: sad

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Monday, January 31st, 2005
2:02 pm - i keep asking why...
The past few days have been some of the worst days of my life. I seriously don't know what I am going to do. I didn't sleep at all last night or the night before, and I just can't make myself eat much of anything. I just don't understand. I have never been this hurt in my life, and it seems like every decision I make is the wrong one.

Today has been horrible. I feel so alone, and I have to be at school until 8. It's so hard. I sat with Eric today at lunch becuase I really didn't know anyone else, and he tried to make me feel better. I'm just so...i don't even know. I can't stop thinking about it or anything that has to do with the situation. I've been holding back the tears all day, and I just don't think that I can do this.

I just need everything to be back to normal again...

current mood: hurt

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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
10:32 am - the day you slipped away...

So this is what it feels like.

current mood: crushed

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